My own worst enemy

by | Sep 8, 2020 | Personal | 0 comments

This blog may be a bit different than my norm. It’s been on my heart to share, so here we go…

Not a good cook

I am definitely my own worst enemy. I’ve been very hard on myself because I’m not a good cook. I would get mad that dinner didn’t turn out like I had planned, or that I didn’t know what would go well together. Even what spices I should use on different things. I was not cutting myself a break at all.

Years ago I messed up a chicken dish I made for my husband. Since then, if anything goes wrong or doesn’t taste right while I’m cooking, I experience all kinds of negative emotions. I get mad at myself, or I vow that I won’t ever cook again. I actually never cared much for cooking. Here’s the interesting part though…for years I made it a goal of mine. To learn to cook better. To take cooking lessons. To get better at it and enjoy being in the kitchen.

It’s OK!

I’ve done those things. And guess what. I have come to learn that no matter what I do, I just don’t like to cook. I love all the kitchen gadgets, but I do not like cooking. And the best part is, I have FINALLY decided that it is OK!!

Finally, after all these years, I no longer give myself a hard time in the kitchen. If I am cooking, I just get it done. If it turns out great, that’s just a bonus. I keep it simple. As healthy as I can make it, but simple. But most of the time I encourage my husband to put something on the grill and I just do the cleaning. Either way, once I realized it was OK not to love to cook, or even to be a good cook, I felt a huge weight lift from my shoulders.

I think growing up, women always did the majority of the cooking. And I have family and friends that are amazing in the kitchen. So I felt a need to compare myself, which we know never goes well.

Come to terms

It took me way too many years to come to terms with it, so I’m here to share with you. If there’s something that you are hard on yourself about, take a hard look inward to see if it’s something you even like doing. I’m not saying trying to learn was a mistake, but all it did was make me more frustrated and even harder on myself.

People say “but it’s so easy”. Or “all you have to do is…” Nope. If the passion isn’t there for it, then maybe it’s OK to move on and stop worrying about it.

Here’s the cool part. I’ve learned enough to get by or to get someone else to do the cooking. I also love making the setting look pretty. The plates, the candles, the napkins. That is what makes me happy. I can also do the clean up! So, problem solved!


So my lesson here was that I needed to stop comparing and forcing something that I just wasn’t excited about. Now I don’t feel bad about it anymore. Talk about liberating! Instead, I focus on things that make me happy and that I CAN be good at, and enhance in that area!

Are there things that you feel like you should be better at? That you are hard on yourself about? That you really don’t even like but feel like you NEED to? Is it something that you absolutely must figure out? Or is it something you can give yourself some grace on and just admit you don’t like to do it.

Consider giving yourself that grace! It’s a good feeling.


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